What did we do to nice?
August 25th, 2010 | by TJ |I’ve been seeing several mentions of this “Inner Mean Girl” cleanse thing, and I took a 45 second glance at the website, as is my style, before deciding I was totally over it. I think it starts today, and I’m already over it.
I don’t want anything to do with what looks like it will amount to another way to judge each other. “I’ve decided to be a nice person and I need professional help to do that. Everyone is so mean.” Except, except – there are really so very few people who are truly mean.
I wrote awhile ago about how I don’t think I’m really nice or mean. I think I’m average nice. I think most people are average nice.
And I think that’s just fine.
I think, though, that especially with blogs, the line between nice and terrible is way too darkly drawn. Comments that disagree with a blog writer, however mild, are deleted.
Tweets that are completely innocuous at best, eye-rollingly lame at worst, are declared to be “threats” and “harassment” that require a big kerfluffle and to do.
Justifiably calling someone an asshole – right out front, in public, under your own name – gets you the label of “troll.”
I don’t know how much of this has to do with this sudden spate of people declaring their cleanse and honestly, I don’t know nor care too much about the details of the cleanse itself. You should understand this in reading the rest of this post. I don’t claim to “get” what this cleanse is about. I’m sure that, if you’re participating, you have very valid reasons. I think a lot of my feelings on this matter also have to do with a lot of recent discussions I’ve been having with other average nice people.
I think the fact that the Internet has become a bunch of weenies has combined with the fact that women love ways to shame each other to create whatever the hell this current Internet weather front turns out to be.
Anyway.
Internet, you’ve become a bunch of goddamn weenies.
Disagreeing is not the same thing as spewing hate.
A debate is not always a fight.
“I don’t like you” does not have to mean drama.
Calling someone an asshole does not make you the Internet devil. Some people ARE assholes, or at least, occasionally act like assholes.
This whole “don’t say anything unless you are agreeing or you’re giving some kind of emoticon hug” thing is ridiculous. These days, you simply cannot disagree with a blog writer or commenter in comments sections without sides being taken, defenses being leapt to, and things devolving into an absolute mess out of some misguided sense of “how dare you.”
Should comments devolve into some kind of name calling, mud flinging mess? No, of course not. But these things don’t usually start with random name calling or a hateful, anonymous comment anymore. THAT would be true trolling. No, these things usually start with someone saying something that is perceived as not being 100% nice.
So a commenter takes offense on behalf of the blogger and things get rolling from there. Or worse, something that has been happening far too often and over much too little, the blogger him/herself jumps into the comments or onto Twitter or anywhere s/he – let’s be honest, she – can, to shriek about persecution and trolling and hate and rallying up the troops and playing the victim about every little damn episode of someone not meeting their standards of nice.
Shaming, shaming weenies
I think that most of us are average nice. Because average is average and aside from some outliers, most of us are going to fall right in that range.
I don’t think I’m special or unique in any significant way. I think realizing that has made my life a lot more pleasing, a lot happier and a lot more realistic, if that makes sense.
So, as an average person, who is average nice, I know that a good number of people are going to be very similar to me.
I think mean things sometimes. I compare myself to other people, too – sometimes favorably and sometimes unfavorably. I make judgments and a lot of times, don’t even realize I’m doing it.
Sometimes I see something and have a reaction, or I think something and it’s not too polite, and the fact that I am adult capable of exercising my own judgment keeps me from saying it. Sometimes, it doesn’t, and I say something that maybe you wouldn’t have said, but definitely something that I’d say.
That doesn’t make me a mean girl. I’m just average nice.
I don’t think that’s a big deal. I think when someone does something that causes me to think, “Hey, that person is an asshole!” or have some kind of similar reaction, it’s up to me whether or not I feel strongly enough to actually voice that reaction. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. The same goes for just about everyone else. Ever.
But these days, these days with this weird new definition of what’s nice and what’s mean, the self-appointed Nice/Mean/Drama/Disturbance in the Force Police have come flying onto the scene as well, and that’s where the shaming comes in.
Every single goddamn day, there is someone tweeting or posting or commenting about “Can’t we all get along?” or “Ugh, drama. Everyone needs to calm down.,” or “Let’s all agree to make an effort to be kind to one another.”
This only happens on the Internet. The Internet, where people are completely and totally free to say whatever they want, has more people popping up to dictate who can say what to who and how than anywhere else.
Where else do you see an uninvolved adult either step between two other grown adults to stop their conversation, or stand next to other people and make loud comments right next to them about how terrible it is that they’re having the conversation?
And worse, not only does this only happen on the Internet – it’s usually over nothing. Take the recent #realwriters “debate” on Twitter. Over and over, people were jumping in to say how TERRIBLE it was to say bloggers aren’t “real” writers and whoever said that is a MORON and oh my GOD can’t we all just get ALONG, and you go to read the search results of the hashtag AND EVERYONE IS AGREEING WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
If the Nice/Mean/Drama/Disturbance in the Force Police invent a mudslinging debate where there was only one side, you can imagine what happens when someone calls someone else an asshole. Or people on opposite sides of an issue discuss it. Oh, it’s like the world is caving in.
And these pleas for niceness, for harmony, for kindness – they’re just another kind of shaming.
They are.
An adult telling other adults that their conversation/debate/argument/whatever shouldn’t be happening? It’s shaming.
“I’m above this. Why aren’t you above this? Nice women are above this.”
So what’s wrong with nice, anyway?
There is nothing wrong with nice. There’s nothing wrong with being a nice person, with doing nice things, with saying nice things, with striving to be nice in all areas of your life.
The problem is with what nice has come to mean, here on the Internet.
Nice isn’t “I like your hair in your avatar” or “Follow so and so, she’s such a great person.”
Nice, on the Internet, is not saying a word when you disagree.
Nice, on the Internet, is looking away when someone says something awful about a something you feel strongly about.
Nice, on the Internet, is not leaving a blog comment at all if the one you were about to leave isn’t in lock-step with the post itself.
Nice, on the Internet, means making sure that other people know how nice you are – by shaming them for saying anything that falls into the NEW definition of debate, fighting or drama.
Women are supposed to be nice.
We’re supposed to get along. We’re supposed to agree. We’re supposed to present some kind of united front. Fighting is what keeps women from forming deep friendships with other women.
I disagree. Shaming is what keeps women from forming deep friendships with other women. Shaming each other into stomping out deeply delt disagreements, shaming each other into keeping our fingers still when someone REALLY NEEDS to be told to what a sack of cocks they are, shaming each other for piping up to back someone else on whatever has been determined to be the “wrong” side of a debate.
I’m nice enough, thanks.
I’m not the type of person who seeks out every drama to jump into, tweet about and blog about, under some misguided notion of “telling it like it is.” I’m not mean for the sake of being mean.
I’m average nice. Sometimes I say things that aren’t 100% nice. I certainly think things that aren’t 100% nice. Sometimes I keep these things to myself, and sometimes I speak up. That’s my choice. I think that, going by the traditional, non-Internet version of the definition of the word “nice,” I’m a nice enough lady.
I know how to be nice. You know how to be nice. WE ALL know how to be nice. Sometimes, even knowing how to be nice, we choose not to be.
The reasons we choose not to be nice in any given situation are different for every person. Maybe someone is maligning a cause that you feel strongly about. Maybe someone has said something offensive about one of your friends. Maybe a debate has broken out amongst some other people, and you really have something to contribute.
In the non-Internet world, while not necessarily falling under the heading of “nice,” those things would be referred to as standing up for what you believe in, defending a friend, and engaging in heated discussion, respectively.
On the Internet, that all falls under the heading of mean, or drama, or, more simply – wrong.
The Nice/Mean/Drama/Disturbance in the Force police have twisted, turned, and mangled the definition of nice and are out to shame any woman who doesn’t fall in line. I’m embarrassed for them. I’m embarrassed for us. I’m embarrassed by women banding together to tell other women how and when to communicate, and who specifically is allowed to say what specific things to which specific others.
I don’t need nor want to be told when it’s okay to object, when it’s okay to bitch back, and when my dissenting opinions are welcome or unwelcome. I don’t need nor want to be told when I should let this slide or side step that in order not to have someone pass judgment from on high about how above everything that’s going on they are.
Sometimes, I think someone is being an asshole, or is wrong, or is doing something that I strongly disagree with. A percentage of those “sometimes,” I will feel strongly enough about it – or really, just be in the mood – and say something. I don’t feel like that makes me a Mean Girl, or not a nice person.
If you, personally, feel like you need to conform to the Internet’s new definition of nice in order to be okay with yourself and happy with who you are, I totally respect that. But you need to respect that fact that the Internet doesn’t revolve around you.
That people don’t always agree.
That no one is obligated to stifle so that your tweet stream is expletive free.
I’ll respect your right to not speak up, not defend your friends, never disagree, never say a cross word to anyone, never compare yourself to anyone else, never hate what someone else stands for, never find anyone or yourself lacking in ANY way.
As long as you respect my right to tell someone to eat a bowl of dicks when I truly feel it’s deserved.
You trust my judgment about when it’s ok for me to say something. I’ll trust your judgment about what’s okay for you to decide not to be involved in.
It is not the Internet’s place to decide what’s nice and what’s not. It’s not the Internet’s place to decide who can say what to who and how and when for the sake of keeping up some false front of togetherness.
I’m nice. You’re nice.
We’re all pretty nice.
By avasmommy on Aug 25, 2010
My god I love this post.
And thank you for adding “sack of Cocks” to my insult vocabulary.
Signed,
An about average nice person
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Phil and I call each other a Sack of Cocks all the time. If you say it fast, it sounds like a dinosaur.
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By Diane on Aug 25, 2010
This is where my tweet came from today when I said “Can everyone stop telling everyone how to do everything?” because COME ON. I’m tired of the posts about how to blog and how not to blog and how to interact with other adults and how to behave on the internet and how to be nice and how saying something about someone who was mean makes ME mean too. And basically my tweet was exactly what I want everyone to stop doing, because how can I say STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO without telling other people what to do? But uggggh internet stop telling each other what to dooooo.
(P.S. You’re awesome.)
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
The Internet is such a control freak.
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By Erin on Aug 25, 2010
Just so you know, I hate the word “nice.” I think it’s a meaningless word used to describe people or concepts that otherwise have no other applicable descriptors. I think people can be kind, generous, supportive, uplifting, etc, but I think “nice” is what we call people when we can’t think of anything else to say about them. I think “nice” is the cardboard cutout term we use to describe all those polite situations or people when we feel we’re not allowed to say what we really think (ie, work, family, drama-inducing situations, etc).
But, if people quit cultivating egos made out of eggshells, people might actually realize that accepting criticism or opening up your mind to alternative concepts might actually make you a better or happier person.
Agree with the overall gist of your post, I just have a personal vendetta against the word “nice.”
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
I remember my 5th grade teacher telling us what a weak word “nice” is when used in any kind of writing.
Still, though, it’s a suitable opposite for “mean,” which now apparently covers a whole range of things it never covered before.
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Stella Reply:
August 26th, 2010 at 8:21 am
Well I think you just described what “nice” is very well, Erin.
It’s a polite word we use when something probably shouldn’t or couldn’t be described as kind, generous, supportive, uplifting, but also wouldn’t be described negatively.
What are you supposed to say (if you are in the interest of being polite) when someone says “What do you think of his wife?” You say “I think she seems like a nice person.” And the questioner completely understands that by using the word “nice” you are choosing to be polite instead of saying “Well I’m feeling kind of meh really, I don’t know anything about her and she doesn’t really stick out in my memory but she’s certainly not bad.. I’m just rather indifferent”.
I think it’s an absolutely necessary word, just chock full of implied meaning, and a good one in terms of social communication.
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Erin Reply:
August 26th, 2010 at 9:39 am
See, I agree with your example, but I think I kind of fall into the “mean” camp. I don’t go out of my way to be mean, but if a dialogue is established, unless it’s a super delicate situation, I do go out of my way to be honest and I love a good discussion with disagreeing opinions. I am not one to shy away from confrontation. I think the “polite” conversation option is occasionally necessary (ie, to keep my job), but I resent it as a social construct, as I think it keeps people from engaging in good, honest discussion. Cause in my mind, that “nice” wife you mention above, if people are going to ask that question outright, it’s probably an invitation to gossip anyway. And I wouldn’t have a problem saying “You know, I haven’t really gotten to know her yet” or “We’re two very different types of people.” Cause if I said she was nice, I might get dragged into future events with her, which depending on my opinion, I really might not want.
I will say, though, I don’t think everyone understands “nice” as a filler, polite word. I think some people really do think it’s descriptive. I have coworkers who frequently squeal enthusiastically “She’s so nice!”
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By Blogger_Becky on Aug 25, 2010
I’m not sure if I’m crushing more on Miss Disgrace or you today. It’s a tough call. You had me at, “Internet, you’ve become a bunch of goddamn weenies.”
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Grace is awesome, but I DID use the word weenies.
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Miss Grace Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Plus TJ has fancier cajones than me.
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By M.Amanda on Aug 25, 2010
Back when I dared to disagree or call someone out on being an asshole and got blasted ten different ways for it, I so wish I had had the phrase “eat a bowl of dicks” handy for those who neither accept reason nor allow you to agree to disagree.
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
I got it from Ice-T.
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By Bennet on Aug 25, 2010
Oh. Dear. God.
I hadn’t heard about this “Inner Mean Girl Cleanse” thing. From my 45 seconds perusing the site it sounds like the worst kind of Botox-for-your-personality drivel.
Here’s an idea: “Inner Four-Year-Old Cleanse.” Let’s all act like adults who can disagree and even insult each other sometimes and either choose to engage or shrug it off without mustering a posse to come to the defense of our fragile egos. Who can assess ourselves realistically without needing to coo, “Oooh, poor self, did you get an emotional boo-boo? Mommy-me will kiss it and make it all better because I love myself.”
Hmmm. Maybe I’m not about average nice :(
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Heh. Personality Botox.
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By Becky on Aug 25, 2010
Amen. Why do people not know how to have a simple debate anymore? Everything devolves into name calling or telling the disagree-ers that they aren’t allowed to disagree. It gives me a headache.
Luckily I am pretty out of touch, so I don’t run into this very often!
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
You know, I don’t really care if people name call. I can look away. The telling other people that they CAN’T name call is what is annoying. Just look awaaaaaaaay if you’re that bothered, you know?
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By jodifur on Aug 25, 2010
I love this post so much.
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Your medal for reading all 2000+ words will be in the mail. I expect to only have to make three or four of them.
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By Natalie on Aug 25, 2010
OK, I would never in a million years have heard about this if not for TJ. Such a thing is also not my style. The only thing I have to contribute to the discussion is that I *snerked* a little to myself when I read the part about “self-love”.
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By cindy w on Aug 25, 2010
I agree with this so much I’m sitting here nodding emphatically at my laptop like a moron. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dissenting opinions, or with calling people out when they act like complete and utter assholes. That is TOTALLY different than being a troll (which in my mind is defined as attacking someone anonymously without cause or reason).
But you know? The Culture of Weenie-dom doesn’t end on the Internet. It’s gotten into how we parent our kids too. Like, say, if God forbid little Timmy tells little Susie to shut up, there has to be a freaking PTA meeting about BULLYING! OMG! It’s the same logic behind why most kids’ sports don’t keep score anymore. Because they want ALL the kids to feel like winners. We’re raising a whole generation of weenies.
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TJ Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Oh, don’t even get me STARTED on shmophies.
http://temerity-jane.com/blogging/the-second-lesser-discussed-shelf/
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Cobalt Reply:
August 25th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
My grandfather told me a joke once about the kiddy sports and not keeping score:
A childrens’ soccer coach is yelling out instructions to his team, getting excited, and shouting the score repeatedly to motivate the kids.
One of the other coaches went over to him, and said, “We don’t keep score here. It’s not about winning or losing.”
The first coach said back, “Oh yeah? Well then, you shouldn’t have taught them how to count.”
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By Swistle on Aug 25, 2010
I disagree it’s only on the internet. I’m afraid it’s typical human behavior. I’ve seen it in several workplaces and several churches: it’s wherever there is a group of people that has SOME things in common and SOME things NOT in common.
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By Paul on Aug 25, 2010
I think I have a problem with calling any person either ‘nice’ or ‘asshole’. Everybody has been nice at some point in their life, and everybody has been an asshole.
Nobody is all the way nice, and nobody is all the way an asshole.
I’m sure that the Dhali Lama was a dick to somebody at some point, and I’m equally sure that Jeffery Dahmer was nice to somebody at some point.
There are extremes that probably deserve the labels, but when you start putting labels on people, you wind up placing somebody who cuts you off on the highway in the same category as Jeffery Dahmer, and that really isn’t very accurate.
Instead of coming out and saying someone is an ‘asshole’ I prefer to comment on the behavior that I think is dick’ish.
Or more likely I just redirect my browser at another URL and never visit that site again. The internet is a pretty large place…makes it easy to just ignore somebody and move on with my life. :)
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By Charlotte on Aug 25, 2010
It’s not just the insistence that every dissenting opinion is held by a troll that is a problem. A bit ago I remember someone doing what I suppose we could call a troll hunt. Literally, “I know where you live, troll. Between X and Y numbers on Z Street in B City.”
Yes, while there are some people who are genuinely and purposefully mean, I think that sort of business is wholly uncalled for. If for no other reason than because a) happy people don’t spend their time leaving mean anonymous comments on blogs and b) meanies are entitled to their opinions, as well.
I suppose part of it is that it is difficult for some to convey tone on the Internet. But coming back with a snotty remark to a politely asked question or a genuine concern raised by a regular reader? Not even remotely good. The very same people who do these kinds of things are the ones who constantly complain about bloggers not being taken seriously.
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By hobbychanger on Aug 25, 2010
Ugh. Not for the sake of being nice, but I agree with you. It’s called a DEBATE people. Remember that class/club in high school?
If we all had the same opinions on everything, we’d be a bunch of robots. It’s ok to have differing opinions from the status quo and to state them. Think what the world would be like if no one spoke out against slavery? Women’s rights? Human rights? The ability to own land? The ability to sleep with who you want, no matter the gender? It’s how people grow.
You aren’t a troll if you are respectful in your disagreement/giving of your opinion. Now if you were to call someone a douchenozzle stinky poopoo head, that’s being a troll. But simply saying I disagree and here’s why “___________” makes you an American (or if you aren’t American, it makes you a decent person.
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By JenB on Aug 25, 2010
I agree with Swistle that this bull shut isn’t exclusive to twitter or the Internet. I shamefully admit that I feel it is more common in groups of women and while most of us are nice, there are some not nice people both on an off the net. It is easier to cloak yourself as nice, but really be an asshole on the Internet. It is easier to knee-jerk comment on the bet than in real life bringing the cream to the top. Sour cream? Why can’t we all just get along? Because we can’t. We are different and we can’t. It is much better to strive for getting though. Let’s try that.
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By Kristine on Aug 25, 2010
Yesyesyes.
I kind of want to go back to school as a sociology major so I could make a Petrie dish of all you shameful bastards. But that’s dickish. What I really meant to say is LOVE YOUR AVATAR!
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By Gel on Aug 25, 2010
maybe its just me? every time anybody tells me I have to be ‘nice’ I automatically want to be less nice. Sometimes I’m going to call a cockgoblin (thanks) a cockgoblin, and the first person to tell me I can’t express my feelings on cockgoblinry, is also going to get called a Asshat.
P.S. I once had a horrible 2nd date with a guy, where I used a fairly mild swear word, and he looked at me very seriously and said ‘You shouldn’t swear, there’s a lady present.’
P.P.S That was our last date, it ended very abruptly. To this day I regret not asking him if there was something he wasn’t telling me because I didn’t see any ladies.
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By Alias Mother on Aug 25, 2010
I missed this whole latest she-bang because I was in Internet-free Land for a few days. It’s probably a good thing because encountering the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse doodah straight-on without the benefit of a reasonable argument chaser might of caused my head to explode.
Also, I have to say that I don’t know any of These Women in real life, only online. They can stay inside the glow-y box, I think.
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By Miss Grace on Aug 25, 2010
I really, really love this. And I’m not just saying that to be nice.
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By Bernie on Aug 25, 2010
What? Any followers of that drivel should be on a full spectrum of antidepressants and perhaps some non prescription mind altering drugs.
The only cure for the epidemic of this so called “meanness” on the Internet is for no one to be anonymous and all adults over the age of 21 be required to carry a side arm.
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By Jezrael on Aug 25, 2010
As always TJ, love your work!
Nice is a terribly insipid word, but then so is the whole situation you describe. I mean seriously what? I wonder whether it’s a cultural thing, I mean I don’t know but I’m Aussie and round here fully fledged insults are pretty much a term of endearment amongst loved ones. Although then again, I get the impression that there might be a fair bit of that going on between you and Phil.
Also, thank you for some excellent new insults to add to my roster, I will be trying them out on the fiance this evening ;)
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By Jezrael on Aug 25, 2010
OMG I had to come back and comment again because I couldn’t resist and had to check out that website and then I had to purge violently and now my inner mean girl is out in FORCE because OH MY GOD. Weenies isn’t in it! Man I bet before you know it there will be a whole pyramid business scheme based on getting your friends to get involved in cleansing their inner mean girl. I mean seriously – the site looks just like those ones for ‘miracle vitamin X’. And people who have flash videos on their home pages that auto play? No people just NO.
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By Jessi on Aug 26, 2010
Okay, here I go. This might get long. Sorry (sincerely, not flippantly).
To some extent, I agree. People should be able to think what they want and say what they want and live a fruitful live of blissful opinion-having. And no one should tell them they can’t. And I have seen this, too. Where someone says x on their blog and a commenter says, y and then 27 commenters jump their shit and call them all sorts of terrible things for daring to disagree and that is evil. And weenie-like. You shouldn’t be putting your opinion out there if you are too thin skinned to accept it when someone disagrees.
On the other hand, I’ve also been commenter y or blogger x and had people get MEAN. Not disagreeing, but mean. Name calling is bad and I don’t like it. Furthermore, bring my kids into this fray and you are going to loose a typing finger. And people do. (Bring my kids into it, not lose fingers, because as of yet, I haven’t invented the device that allows me reach through the screen and snap one off.)
While I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to tell someone how to think or what to say or that your opinion isn’t wanted here, I do think it’s perfectly acceptable to remind someone that my five year old knows how to have a civil discussion better than they do. And since she is a ball of emotion and temper (being a product of her mother’s uterus and all) that’s really saying a lot.
I did college debate. I was good at college debate. I debated at nationals. I know from debate. Debate is about organizing your thoughts, keeping a cool head and making your point. It is not about acting like a demonically possessed toddler whose trying out their new swear word vocabulary.
And so, while I think this inner mean girl purge is about as useful as a pet manticore, and I believe that everyone is entitled to have, express and ramble incessantly about their opinion, I also believe that I have the right to tell someone who is NOT debating, who IS just being an asshat, that maybe they should cool down and come back. And stop being an asshat. I’ll try to avoid the word nice.
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By Stella on Aug 26, 2010
I think what pisses me off more than just being nice is when people comment on other people’s arguments…
X and Y are debating about something and Z keeps like ::sighing:: and ::eyerolling:: in the background like “OMG you guys. enough is enough! why are we still talking about this?” and it’s like WE, X and Y, are still interesting in discussing this further, WE never actually included you, Z, so STFU.
Ugh I hate that. Especially when they perceive something to be nastier than it is. I can be called an asshole or have someone tell me I’m an idiot without totally thinking they’re being rude. Many of my most intellectually stimulating debates have included an assemblage of profanity and they’re still perfectly civil. BACK THE FUCK OFF AND LET ME WIN THIS FUCKING ARGUMENT!
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By Erin on Aug 26, 2010
I agree with some of the things that you posted, but I have a serious problem with the internet and some of the cowards on it. Recently, I’ve been the victim of a 52 year old woman who is out of her GD mind, as she is somehow upset that I am with her ex-husband who SHE cheated on 14 years ago and got divorced from (clearly, she has never heard that the opposite of love is indifference). She is calling me an “ugly skank” on FB and has alligned a group of women scorned to flame me on her FB wall and in life in general. I find it particularly entertaining that all of the women doing this flaming are OLDER than me. Maturity knows no bounds. I have definetly spent a good portion of my time “skanking about”, but it was before you even knew I existed. Don’t be mad that you thought the grass was greener. And don’t you have better things to do with your time? Afterall, you are still married to the man you cheated on my manfriend with, and maybe he needs a little of your energy focused elsewhere.
Anyways, long story short, I think the internet is a place where cowards hide. People type things on a screen that they would NEVER actually say to someone’s face. People don’t have to be nice to each other, but they also need not be hypocrites and type something to someone miles away that they will never encounter when they know they would never say that same thing to someone’s face. There is a very fine line between being cruel & saying what you think with a little tact. Yes, some over-sensitive weenies take it to far on the moderation, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, some under-sensitive ones don’t moderate themselves enough.
End rant.
If you would actually tell someone to “eat a bowl of dicks” to their face, I COMPLETELY respect you typing it to them on the internet. I’m also pretty sure someone should inform the 52 year old nutso I’m dealing with that although I’ve ate bowls of dicks in the past, that doesn’t make me a “skank” lifer.
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By Rick on Aug 27, 2010
I totally agree with this post, and with Erin.
I’m all for dissenting opinions and if people aren’t allowed to frickin’ discuss anything, how are we supposed to learn anything new?
Also, I agree with above that the internet is a breeding ground for cowardice. If you don’t have the guts to say something in real life, stfu on the net.
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