Temerity Jane

The Big Oh-Three

Last year on this date, I wrote an entry entitled “The Big Oh-Two,” because last year, on this date, it was the two year anniversary of the first entry on this blog.

In last year’s post, I summed up the entire previous two years.

So, if you read last year’s post, covering the first two years of this blog, and this year’s post, which will cover the whole past year of the blog, you basically are up to speed and don’t need to come back again until May 14th of next year. I appreciate that some of you are efficient like that.

So, as of today, Temerity-Jane.com has been around and in operation for three years. It’s still a minuscule fraction of my blogging life as a whole, but significant nonetheless, when you’re thinking about things in terms of Internet time. Three years in Internet time is basically one skrillion years of normal time.

I spent some time this week going through the entire last year’s worth of posts, trying to figure out what the best post from each month was, because one post per month seemed reasonable, but the problem came up when there was a conflict between what I considered to be my best post for the month and what the Internet considered to be the best post of the month, in terms of reactions and discussion. It’s weird, and I think any blogger would agree, that even after three years on this blog, and one jillion years of blogging in total, it is still just impossible to predict what is going to go over well and what isn’t. Posts I think are great get no attention, while half-assed posts dashed off while I’m running out the door are flooded with comments. You just never know. So, among the twelve months worth of posts are some that you all really liked and might like to revisit, and some that none of you liked, BUT OBVIOUSLY TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE.

In May of last year, I wrote a post called “Reasons My Boyfriend is Awesome.” I chose those post for May because one, it’s all still totally true and two, it gets the second largest amount of search engine traffic on the site. A lot of people are asking Google why their boyfriends are awesome and are ending up finding out why MY boyfriend is awesome. It’s sad, really, because I’m sure that’s lead to all kinds of jealousy issues in others’ relationships. And if you’re wondering, the highest search engine traffic draw is this post about whether or not feet can shrink!

In June, there was “A Very Nerdy Engagement.” Not only was it awesome and assisted by fabulous YA author John Green, but it was also pretty much the only major event of the past year. That’s it. There’s really not much else to see past this point. I basically used up all of my major blogging material one month in to the third year of this blog. Poor life planning on our part, really. Anyway, go read my engagement post again. There’s a video. It’s adorable. Did you know that my first response to the proposal was, “Oh, shit!”? Well, now you do.

In July, I gave the first hint of how much my life was beginning to rotate around the dog in a post about “Reason 872 Why We Won’t Procreate.” From there on, Brinkley would begin to appear more and more, in all of his majesty. You should also note that as convinced as that post my sound, it was less than a month later that I completely changed my mind and decided that being a totally neurotic parent would likely be better than not being a parent at all. Enjoy the sneak peak into the complexes I am sure to inflict upon our hypothetical future child. Oh, by the way, if we have a boy some day, we’re thinking about naming it “Brinkley 2” or “Second Brinkley” or “Lesser Brinkley” or “Backup Brinkley.” What do you think?

In August, I wrote what is probably my most recent and likely my last World of Warcraft post, called “Oh, How the World Has Changed.” It is basically a bunch of cranky old manning (yeah, smooth verbing, high five self and double high five for verbing verb, goddamn, I am awesome) about how quest items didn’t used to sparkle and you couldn’t just walk up and BUY a Dreadsteed. Since I hadn’t been playing much at that point, my outrage continued into the comments. Considering that even that post is now way out of date, it’s funny to look at it now and see how much MORE they managed to dumb down since then.

In September I wrote a post called “The #1 Peril of Blogging,” which has had a serious impact on how I think about blogging and those who comment on blogs every since. The outrage expressed at the idea that not every comment is received with open arms was shocking. There was more than one person who indicated, both on the comments in that post and on Twitter, that they would NEVER COMMENT HERE AGAIN! And to them I say… nothing, because I don’t give a crap. I still freely admit it – some comments are flippin’ irritating. I don’t consider that post to be one of the best I’ve ever written, but I still think about it a lot, and about the differences in attitudes between bloggers and commenters.

In October, I wrote about blogging again, because I never get sick of staring into blogging’s great big navel, but this time I wrote about how lying online really ISN’T DIFFERENT than lying in real life. It was called “Don’t Lie to Me – It’s Not Just the Internet.” A recent event in the blogging world had triggered the post (which, uh, are we all just pretended that’s resolved? Because what the hell?), along with resurfaced annoyance at my self-admitted pathological liar of an ex-boyfriend who told me he was in a TWELVE STEP PROGRAM for lying and was trying to Step 9 with me because he truly believes that he is smart enough to carry off the ridiculous lies he creates and even LIES ABOUT LYING. Anyway, the important thing isn’t that my ex-boyfriend is a flaming moron, or the whole blogging incident that triggered it, but what you’re really saying when you decide lying on the Internet is okay. That you don’t care about others’ feelings. That YOU getting attention is more important than the ramifications you bring about. And that you truly believe you’re smarter than everyone who will read it – that people won’t see through your BS because you’re so much more intelligent. It’s just insulting. Lesson: As long as you never assume you’re the smartest person in the room, you will keep yourself out of a LOT of trouble.

In November, sensitive to the economy, the unemployment rate and many other factors, I wrote a post to help you plan for the holidays – “Knock Off Christmas.” Not only did this post bring you Ooptimoose Prune and Bimbleboo, but it was also the start of Phil’s willingness to take endless pictures and do whatever else was required to support my blog fodder needs. If you’ve been reading over the last few months, you know that this phenomenon is snowballing down hill very quickly.

I have to tell you several things from December, because I guess it was around December that I stopped writing once every week and a half and started actually putting in some effort.

• “I Draw My Evil From Your Niceness” – I don’t believe in nice people. I just don’t.
• “If You Could See How I Am Dressed, You Probably Wouldn’t Take Anything I Say Seriously.” – This is a post that compiles my evidence against Brooke Shields. I don’t think she’s done anything – yet. But she might. And I’m ready. Unfortunately, people must have seen how I was dressed because no one took me seriously.
• “And that’s how I found out I don’t know how to spell Turmeric” – The very first Potential Cooking Disasters with TJ post!

In January, I had my very first ever blog war, and Internet? I might be biased? But I totally won. “Weddings, Entitlement and Blogger Hysteria” happened when I commented on a wedding blog about why someone would get married, lie to their families, and then have a “big wedding” later. The blogger in question and all of her commenters basically made complete asses of themselves, which totally helped my strategy, which was basically “try not to be morons like these guys are being.” I think, in the end, that it remains pretty clear that HAVING A SECRET WEDDING and not telling any of your friends or family so as not to RUIN your “real wedding” is at best, ridiculous, and at worst, selfish, deceptive and, wait, yeah, still ridiculous.

Also, because it’s my blog and because I can, “Let me tell you about this passive-aggressive candy bar I met” may just be my favorite post of all time. I’m totally Kanye-ing January so that I can tell you that. Because, you know, best post of all time.

In February, I gave you “Date Night with Phil – a photo essay.” The very first Phil story! Also? If I am not mistaken? The first ever appearance of Phil’s thumbs. Man, it seems like everything awesome about this site got started in the last year! I also wrote what is slowly trying to take over “reasons my boyfriend is awesome” as the biggest search term for the site – “KY Yours & Mine – a review, by TJ,” but I warn you to please consider your relationship to Phil & I before proceeding, especially if you’re assuming we’re saving ourselves for marriage, because of course we totally are, so you don’t even need to read that post.

I also bought a wedding dress in February.

In March, I introduced you to a special rule via my “Division of Household Labor” post. You know. If you give a shit, it’s your job. It’s revolutionizing homes across America. At least two, or even three homes!

And in April, of course, was “You don’t know my hypothetical future child – Should I have it?” Holy crap, y’all. The responses on that post are by far some of the best this blog has ever seen. I read every single one and I’ve gone back to read them all again at least twice since then. I’ll probably do it again today, now that I’m think about it. Seriously, high five to you guys.

Anyway, that was the whole third year of this blog. There was other stuff, like Oaty Oats and Deeleeshoos Noodles, and the Wincable! post and all of my engagement pictures and wedding dress choices and a whole bunch of other stuff, like naked men and their missing middles, but out of respect for the busy, busy people who make a pilgrimage to this blog only once a year for a summation, I have left a lot of stuff out.

Over the next year, I hope some interesting things will happen. I’m getting married, so you’re at least guaranteed one major to do. The year after that, maybe we’ll have a kid. After that, I think they put you out to blogging pasture. I mean, who cares what a bunch of moms would have to say, right? Ha. See what I did there?

Anyway. Thanks for reading my blog for three whole stinking years, y’all.