[...] as the Internet enjoys telling other Internet people what to do, and as much as the Internet likes inserting their opinion whether it is requested or not, I have really only had one or two negative comments on how much diet soda I drink. At least, I [...]

[...] September I wrote a post called “The #1 Peril of Blogging,” which has had a serious impact on how I think about blogging and those who comment on blogs [...]

[...] example, as lightly as I am apparently required to tread when discussing the fact that not all comments are c…, a certain comments do annoy me. If I’m sitting at the computer and reading a comment that [...]

[...] had an excellent post a while back about unsolicited advice. And while I haven’t had alot of experience with it while blogging, I did get a heaping [...]

It’s perfectly ok to be annoyed by random, endless advice. But the problem isn’t a blog problem.

It’s a fundamental human problem. In every aspect of life, people assume when you mention a situation (which may, or may not be a problem), particularly when you ask their opinion on it, that you are asking for their advice.

People want to feel helpful. Fundamentally, it’s driven by a desire to feel useful and needed – it sounds somewhat negative, and I’m sure people will argue as a result, but it’s just human nature. It simply is. Unfortunately, as a rule people do not appreciate attempts from others to exert control over their life. Yeah, I suppose that’s worded poorly and seems over-dramatic, but it’s the reason advice annoys more than it helps. Particularly when there are a myriad of factors to situations that other people do not – and can not – know, because they aren’t you, and are not in your precise situation. Even if they’ve been in similar situations, they’re not you, and thus can not be in yours.

So, people always want to offer advice. A previous commenter mentioned parenting: This is a glaring example of the problem. Everyone and their dog wants to offer you advice on every aspect of parenting, and it’s enormously aggravating.

Alas, there’s no real, workable solution. As you’ve seen in comments thus far, people take any sort of response – no matter how polite – that you don’t want advice as a direct, personal rebuttal. So, they end up feeling worse than they started before they said anything, that not only did you not want their advice but more the opposite. It’s not your fault in any way, but it’s just how people work.

It would be great if people could learn to just listen, convey understanding, offer their opinion without trying to exert control on another person’s life, but I doubt it’ll ever happen.

That’s my two bits.

[...] Temerity Jane, the blessed TJ, the goddess and a half, recently wrote a beautiful post entitled ‘The #1 Peril of Blogging”… [...]