Temerity Jane

9:30 Club Boy, part 2.

Read part 1 here.

Ok, so, my roommate asks these two random guys, one who seems to have some kind of strange fascination with me, particularly (if you’ll recall, he’s been saluting me and dancing for me and puffing out his chest and fluffing his feathers at me all night so far), if they’ll give us a ride back to our dorm in Maryland.

SURE, they say, before I can even ask roommate just what the hell she thinks she’s doing.

But then, you know, she really wanted to see the whole show, and we were really young and really stupid so ah, whatever. I called the girl who had the shift after mine at my job and asked her to switch her 3am to 6am for my 12am to 3am. As I am insane, and she is not, she readily agreed and we were all set. We could stay for the whole show and not worry about me being late for work, or missing the last metro, as we had now secured a ride or a murder. Whichever, we didn’t have to worry about the metro either way.

So the second opening act is done, and we’ve survived. Our new friends, Tall Guy(TG) and Not So Tall Guy (not getting an acronym because he doesn’t matter) tell us, hey, when Alien Ant Farm starts, we’re going to push up all the way to the front. Get behind us and come with us, ok?

Well, roommate has her heart set on crowd surfing, because, as it would turn out, her goal in life seems to be to have as many people touch her butt as possible, so we agreed. Just as planned, AAF starts up, TG and other guy push forward, with us right behind them, and in moments we’re right up against the barrier. After a couple of minutes, roommate was boosted up and had her butt touched by many, but apparently not to her heart’s content, as once she made her way back to us, she asked TG to boost her again.

Now me, I was standing a couple of people back from the front of the stage, enjoying the show for the most part, and TG was right behind me, against my back. I didn’t mind, as he was protecting me from the worst of the thumpings (it was TIGHT in there), and he had his right arm draped around the front of me, kind of around the shoulders, if that makes sense? His arm around me from behind. Whatever.

After a couple of songs, I started to realize that something was wrong. It was too loud, there were too many people, I was getting too crushed, and my brain was going all alarmy. In fact, even before I noticed that something was going wrong, the people around me and TG started frantically saying “Take her out, take her out!” to TG, even trying their best to move out of the way to facilitate this. My ears started buzzing, my eyes were going all fuzzy, and other guy told me later that I had gone about dead white. All I was thinking was “Why won’t he (TG) move, why won’t he help me?” as I had my fingers curling into his arm, that was around me, in a death grip.

Well, TG, too late, and I hit the ground hard.

All the very kind people who had been around me immediately cleared back as far as they could, while I took one boot to the head (TG!), and the 9:30 Club staff came in quite quickly. I woke up being carried off to the side and of course started kicking like a mule, because, hey! Strange men! Carrying me!, but calmed down in a second and sat in a back office for a couple of minutes, feeling like a complete idiot.

After a bit, I got up and went to the downstairs bar to catch my breath and listen to the show in quiet. Roommate, TG and other guy came down and found me, and TG immediately launches into “You’re so lucky, girl, you’re so lucky I was there to save you, you could have been killed!” and otherwise bragging about his dramatic rescue, while I sat there silently and thought “Dude, you kicked me in the head,” but said nothing as, hey, they were giving us a ride home.

Still being very shaky and very flustered and out of it, but not wanting my roommate to miss the rest of the show, we all went back upstairs and the three of them went back into the crowd while I leaned up against the bar off to the side. The “doctor” of the club staff was also leaning against the bar and gave me a nod and a what’s up, to make sure I was all good, and we chatted for a minute about what had happened and about why, being… the way I am… I was even at the club in the first place, and he bought me a diet coke.

He was nice.

I turned to watch the show, as did the doctor guy, and as soon as we had separated the merest inch, a skeevy looking man slid himself in between us. You know the type, the old guys you see around college bars, that aren’t super old? But just old enough to be “ew get out of here” kind of guys.

This guy starts talking to me, and though I vaguely recall that this was a funny moment, I can’t remember his exact lines, as the rest of this story turned out to be much more memorable. However, I remember the basic gist. This guy is standing between me and a club employee, asking me questions which I’m answering with one word, trying to appear to be very interested in the show, and keeps asking if he can buy me a drink. I show him my hands – both hands – gigantic purple stamps on each one, the universal NO BE HAVING TEH ALCOHOLS sign at the 9:30 Club – in fact, if you’re even seen HOLDING a cup of alcohol, just for a second, you’re out. It’s a very strict policy. I was 19, at the time, by the way. But still, he keeps on. Oh, come on, one drink. Let me buy a pretty young girl one drink. I shake my head, and the club doctor guy is chuckling at my predicament over this guy’s shoulder, while I am making furious “this is NOT funny!” faces as best I can. Well, skeevy doesn’t get the hint, orders two drinks, and attempts to physically put one in my hand, at which point he is informed by the club doctor that if my hand so much as grazes that cup, he is throwing SKEEVY out, and he best just step away from me now.

After that, Alien Ant Farm played Smooth Criminal, which was their big hit at the moment, and I remember it as being extremely spectacular.

And then, it was time for the drive home.

Edited to add: In case it wasn’t clear, there’s still more coming. I haven’t even got to the stalkery part yet! I just didn’t want to taunt you again, like last time. Well, yeah I did, but I decided not to. Taunt you, that is. With the fact that the story still gets better. And I am stopping here instead of continuing to the good parts. Yeah, I opted against taunting you guys with that information, and decided to just end it. I’m sorry if that gave the impression that I was done and there was no more. Because I’m not. And there is.