Knock Off Christmas
November 25th, 2009 | by TJ |As many of you know, I stand firmly against paying full price, as a general rule. Basically, my take on it is… why should I?
So, the other day, Phil entertained my sale and clearance shopping needs by stopping into a store I’d never been in before: Beale’s. In case you have one near you, I’ve put together a helpful list of some products you might want to hone in on for all your discount gift giving needs:
The Pedi-Smooth. Superior to that oval-shaped foot care object because this one promises not only smooth, but also sassy feet. Also? It’s shaped like a foot. I mean, what does an egg know about foot care? This one is shaped like the body part it is designed to care for. That’s thoughtful craftsmanship.
How about some male underpants? They’re already slightly imperfect, so you don’t have to be afraid to blooper in them.
For that expressive, dark, edgy person in your life – nothing says intimidating like skulls made out of bones. On pajamas.
Another way I like to save money is by choosing items that have more than one use or purpose. For example, these pants can be given both to people who have careers in the automotive fuel industry or to those who smell really bad in the buttial area. (Though in seriousness? I’m not sure the makers of these pants understood the joke they were supposed to be making.)
Of course, we can’t forget the toys! Just try not to stare at them too hard.
I mean, if your kid hasn’t learned to read yet, “Quick Change Transforming System” is pretty much exactly the same thing.
Look, kids! It’s Ooptimoose Prune! And Bimbleboo!
By Haley on Nov 25, 2009
Last line = definitely my favorite too.
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By Tristan on Nov 25, 2009
Elias (to Pickle F***er): Do you have any interest, in building the ultimate fan site for both the Lord of the Rings and The Transformers? Because I’d moderate it for free.
Randal: Ease up, Pillowpants the dudes not into your D&D, GoBots bullshit.
Pickle F***er: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t insult the guy. The GoBots are like the K-Mart Transformers.
Elias: THANK YOU! I keep telling him that.
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Mikey Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
you got to love picklefucker
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By Dzargul on Nov 26, 2009
Thinking back a post to the list of words that shall not be uttered, let us now add: buttial.
Somehow that word manages to convey the impression of support, separation, AND…hole.
I don’t feel comfortable this close to it and I’m moving my screen back a few inches.
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Stephanie Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Wow… That was so awesome I snorted. Perfect analysis of the word I would now shudder to type.
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By Bernie on Nov 26, 2009
So, what other fine quality TV products can we rename and sell at only a 10% profit instead of the original 100% mark up?
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By Steve on Nov 26, 2009
My Brain: Bimbleboo? Bimbleboo… Bimbleboo!!!
My Mouth: Bwhahahahaha!
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By Mikey on Nov 26, 2009
The original PediEgg commercial cracked me up. “EEWWWWW shes grating an orange with the thing she shaved her feet with!” *YAK*
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Dzargul Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
To be fair, I have NO idea what this object actually does. Does it shave hair? Skin? Remove bunions? REMOVE TOENAILS? Is this a devious Home Surgery Kit for bone spurs?
Also? I wish to point out that this may be one of the few times in history where ‘men’s underwear’, ‘grande’, and ’slightly imperfect’ get strung together.
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Mikey Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
The pedi egg basically shaves the dead hard skin off of the bottom of peoples feet. It’s like a tiny egg shaped cheese grater for your feet :o
oh and apparently you can create orange zest with it to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoHMd1yOBfM
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By Laura on Nov 26, 2009
What’s interesting is that I have bought Fruit Of the Loom undies that were not Bloopers but had been sewn together very badly. Going by that I’d expect the ones they actually say are bad must have the legs all sewn shut or something.
Wandering around for IComLeavWe.
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Mikey Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
those are the ones you put on your head, tie a towel on as a cape and play superhero!
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By Jennifer June on Nov 28, 2009
I need that got gas fabric. I need to sew my boyfriend some pajamas, a bed spread and some blooper underwear out of it.
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By Vodka Logic on Dec 2, 2009
here thanks to MaryMac.. funny post. got gas? is that rhetorical? For my husband it is.
xx
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TJ Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
For my fiance, too – I’m just not sure why they felt the need to add actual gas pumps to the design!
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By MoCo Mom on Dec 2, 2009
Also here via MaryMac the pajama mamarama. I can’t stop laughing.
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TJ Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Thanks! Does your name refer to MoCo in MD? I lived in Germantown up until March of this year!
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