This may or may not be a review session

November 21st, 2009 | by TJ |

So, every once in a while this blog, like many blogs, gets a spike of traffic, and I try to remind myself to make a post welcoming all these new readers and putting my best foot forward and showing them how awesome I am right off the bat to entice them to stick around, but I’ve never actually managed to do that and instead end up posting about how I was trying to fall asleep between the sleeping dog and the sleeping Phil and they kept taking turns sleep farting, and my traffic goes back to normal.

That sleep farting thing was just an example of the kind of post I’d write, but it really did happen last night and it was seriously gross and also hilarious.

This blog has picked up a new reader or three over the last two… years. I don’t have an about page, or any links to my favorite posts or anything that gives you any indication at all of what you’re dealing with here, so I have put together this handy sheet of information for you.

Things You May or May Not Have Known About Me but Even if You Did Know, You Should Keep in Mind in Case I Win the Lottery and Start Doing Tons of Giveaways Based on Who Demonstrates the Highest Degree of Creepy Admiration by Rattling off Obscure and Uninteresting Facts About Me.
a list, by TJ

1. First, you should know that I am female, and I am 27. I am very shortly to be 28. That little about me section over to the right will likely continue to say that I am 27 for a very long time. People will make clever comments along the lines of “Oh ho ho, TJ, you have been 28 for 6 whole hours and your blog still says you are 27! I demand you change it!” I will ignore these people, the same way I ignore people who say “Oh ho ho, don’t you mean FIANCE?” whenever I refer to Phil as my boyfriend. Because, come on. Shut up.

2. Phil is my fiance. I met him because he started reading this blog and he sent me an email about how awesome I am. Actually, he sent me a bunch of them. I ignored him for a year, and then we got engaged. Isn’t life funny? Take a lesson here, kids: Internet stalking will pay off if you just KEEP AT IT.

3. I quit smoking 2 months ago. You don’t really need to know that, but I am still extremely aware of that fact. So it was hard to leave it out of this list.

4. I have a sister who wasn’t supposed to know about this blog, but hunted it down and kept the fact that she was reading it a secret for a long time. I caught her when the public library in our hometown popped up in my webstats. She sometimes comments here under the clever handle of “sister.” No one has really picked up on that fact yet.

5. Here is a list of some of my favorite things I have ever written on this blog to cover up the fact that I can’t think of a fifth fact about myself and am feeling really super pathetic about it, and also you should know that the reason it appears that I have written most of my favorite things in the most recent months is because even I don’t want to read that far back in my archives:

    And that, Internet, is all you need to know about that.

    9 Responses to “This may or may not be a review session”

    1. By Mikey on Nov 21, 2009

      I’ve noticed by some of your random pics that you have a tattoo or two. I wouldn’t mind a post about them, what they mean to you and why you got them.

      [Reply]

    2. By Dechion on Nov 21, 2009

      I had been wondering how the quitting smoking thing was working out for you.

      Congratulations.

      [Reply]

    3. By Stone Fox on Nov 21, 2009

      just stopping by to introduce myself. i was going to have my handlers give you a list of Questions You Are Not Allowed To Ask, but what the hell! ask me whatever you want. i’m throwing caution to the wind, my friend.

      and excellent work with the non smoking. i quit 3.5 months ago, and to my utter amazement, i haven’t killed a single person. i have thought about many, but zero ‘actual’ kills.

      [Reply]

      TJ Reply:
      November 21st, 2009 at 9:31 pm

      Eeeexcellent. I am mid-question preparation. Just as a heads up, I am planning on cheating by creating a few multi-part questions in order to stay within the letter of the 5 to 10 questions rule, if not the spirit.

      [Reply]

    4. By Awlbiste on Nov 21, 2009

      I would do my nemesis-ly duty and attempt to sabotage the quiz. Because I am pretty sure that’s the correct thing to do here.

      [Reply]

    5. By MommynaniBooboo on Nov 21, 2009

      I just found you.
      My favorite movie quote EV-ER is also, “I carried a watermelon…” Did you steal that from inside my head?
      We may or may not have anything else in common. But based on your favorite quote, I will now be stalking you and we will eventually become blood sisters- just a head’s up…

      [Reply]

    6. By Aunt Becky on Nov 22, 2009

      I am so good at tests. You have no idea. I will rule at it.

      [Reply]

    7. By sister on Nov 22, 2009

      So you know in Old School where Jeremy Piven’s the dean and they’re all like “Oh yeah, Cheee-eeeese.” Chuck sleep farted last night to the tune of “cheeee-eeese” and I almost peed. But it doesn’t beat the time he wake farted and it sounded EXACTLY like Peter Griffin’s laugh. Then we both almost peed.

      [Reply]

    8. By Em on Nov 22, 2009

      I did not know that fact about your introduction with Phil … what a creepy and romantic tale of internet fate! You and I do have a few things in common: (a) both are engaged, (b) both are 27, almost 28 — mine is in 2 weeks, (c) family members secretly read our sites, (d) we both used to smoke — okay I admit it! I haven’t OFFICIALLY quit yet, but pretty much. Hmmm, maybe that’s it for now.

      Thanks for the clarifications!

      [Reply]

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