November 16, doomed from the start
November 17th, 2009 | by TJ |“It seems like NaBloPoMo is becoming basically me talking about what an asshole I am. Got any ideas for me to write about all the terrible ways I annoy you?”
“Not really, no.”
“Oh, yeah, right!”
“Well… you know how every time I stand up, you ask me to get you a diet soda? How you’ll sit without a diet soda for like, an hour, just so you can ask me for one as soon as I stand up? That’s kind of annoying.”
“Excuse me?”
*5 minutes later*
“So really, it’s because I’m trying to prevent global warming. You’re WELCOME.”
“I think your logic is flawed there.”
“I think your concern for the environment is flawed.”
*5 minutes later*
“I can’t believe you!”
“I did not call you Pre-Subway Fat Jared!”
“Whatever. Should I roll myself out of the car or are you going to drag up a RAMP?”
By T-Sonn on Nov 17, 2009
Wow. Poor Phil. You are just TRYING to be that way, huh?
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By Dzargul on Nov 17, 2009
I’m cheering on Phil on this one. TJ was OBVIOUSLY digging for material…and Phil Took One For the Team to provide her some. Very perceptive Phil.
I’ sure she’ll thank you…ummm…she’ll…
…herm….
…if you have kids and THEY have kids, I’m PRETTY sure at some point TJ will hint to the granchildren that you played a productive role in this moment.
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By kLog on Nov 17, 2009
For the record, Jared’s daily walk to Subway was down 2 flights of stairs. The Bloomington Subway is the bottom floor of a 3-story apartment building.
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By Melchoir on Nov 17, 2009
“I think your concern for the environment is flawed.”
You have no idea how much that retort has made my day. I can’t explain it, but I seriously had to fight to contain my laughter in the office on lunch break.
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By Capn John on Nov 17, 2009
For anyone concerned about Phil, don’t be. Neither he nor TJ actually exist. The last few posts raised my suspicions but this one finally gave it away so to save everyone’s hair and fingernails I will reveal to you the truth…this is really my wife’s Blog.
No?
Wow. You could have fooled me.
For anyone concerned about Phil, don’t be, because TJ is very much like my wife, to whom I’ve been happily married (for the most part. I’m kidding, dear! I’m kidding! Put down the gardening shears!) Alright! Alright So my wife and I have been happily married for the most…I mean for 11 1/2 years. 11 1/2 happily married years.
But don’t take my word for it, ask Mil Millington and his girlfriend Margret, who would be his wife (and is the mother of his children) except they don’t feel it’s necessary to be married: http://www.mil-millington.com/
If Mil and I can live with Margret and my wife (separately of course, in our respective houses, not cohabiting together) then Phil can certainly live with TJ.
So if you’re worried about Phil, don’t be; he’s going to be alright.
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Dzargul Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Oh, I’m not worried about Phil at ALL. This sort of treatment is the adult version of the little girl who punches you on the playground. We men know it, we love, and we sign up for it. This sort of attention is only proof that they care for us.
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Capn John Reply:
November 17th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Dzargul, that is an excellent way of putting it.
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By Alex on Nov 17, 2009
Pre-Subway Fat Jared is going to be my new go-to insult.
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By Delicia on Nov 17, 2009
Thanks TJ, having a crappy day, this post made it better. Have to tell you my hubby has finally acknowledged your point of whatever THEY make is actually ours by automatically making me a bowl of popcorn when he makes himself some. His always tastes better, though.
-Del
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